Melee between mother and her children is a healthy phenomenon

Arabs today - the quarrel between mother and her children is a healthy phenomenon

NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – Teenagers who quickly feed during a fight with their mother have a harder time resisting the temptation of their peers to use drugs and alcohol than those who can calmly and convincingly reach their mothers, a new study shows.

"Although the results do not mean that parents should let their children convince them of their arguments, they emphasize that parent-child relationships are an important platform for training children on how to do it," said Joanna Mary-Changu, a graduate student with a degree in clinical psychology from the University of Virginia at Charlottesville. Dealing with their comrades in the stage of their growth. "

"Children need to learn at some point how to defend themselves, and we believe that what they learn at home greatly affects their relationships with their peers," she says.

"It may seem easier for parents to ask their children to obey them, but doing so can lead to negative results," said Stephen Hayes, a professor of psychology at the University of Nevada who did not participate in the study.

"The words" do what I say to you ", often echoed by parents, carry an indirect message:" Do what others say to you. "

The study included a group of 157 adolescents, ethnically, socially and economically. Shango and her colleagues watched the children at the age of 13 during their conversations with their mother.

She noted that researchers focused on mothers during the study because they spend most of their time with the child, but these results may also apply to parents.

In the first conversation, the mother and her child discussed a disputed issue of child choice such as signs or rules within the home. The researchers noted how often a child acquiesced without appearing to be really convinced.
In the second conversation, the child asked for his mother's advice on a problem. The researchers noted the mother's tenderness, positiveness and support.

At the age of 15 and 16, adolescents appear to be more vulnerable to drug and alcohol abuse when they receive less support from their mother and more readily comply during the fights.
"The link between home-brawling and resistance to friends' seduction is the child's ability to persuade through common sense rather than screaming and complaining," explains Shangu. "We found that the appropriate arguments reflected better results for adolescents."

These personal skills may be of particular importance today as social networking and other technology has made friends more seductive and pervasive than the old scenario such as encouraging teenagers to smoke each other.

"The best way for parents to communicate with their teenage children is to ask explicit questions that encourage them to explain what they want to do and why," explains Dennis Embry, president of the Paxes Institute in Arizona who is responsible for designing programs to prevent youth violence. Adolescents are self-reliant people. "

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Nawfal Mohammed

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